Belief and Tradition – The Magic of the Holiday Season
It’s finally here. That time of year that both uplifts our spirits and drains our energy. A time of darkness, light, selflessness, consumerism. The Winter Solstice in its many forms is certainly one of the most complex customs – embedded deep in our psyches. And it demands that you go all in. There is no way to do it lightly, without a bit of craze or touch of sentiment. Without wondering come January 3rd why there is a frickin’ tree in the living room. It hits us all in different ways each year, depending on where we are in life. It is a season truly unavoidable and quite necessary, I think.
Even though this time of year is full of celebration worldwide, we all have our own specific customs that we try to re-create each year. There is a deep need for constancy and nostalgia during the darkest part of the year and holiday traditions help us express the meaning of the season. And in my family you don’t argue with tradition.
My Grandmother made this in a ceramics class. And the knitted doily thing under it.
For decades, we all gathered at my Grandma’s on Christmas Eve at 4pm on the dot. No happy hour. No excuses. As the sun went down, we feasted on a homemade Ukrainian dinner and talked about how much of a sin it is to be so gluttonous. But we stuffed ourselves anyway because Grandma was a stellar cook. It was hard to sit patiently while the adults finished dinner. Only after all the dishes were done, then the opening of presents would proceed in a numbered fashion – with just a bit of chaos and confusion mixed in. After that you could play with your toys and cousins just until you’re worn out – then you have to go sit through church at Midnight. Did I mention the blizzard and sub-zero temperatures? Nostalgia indeed.
Somewhere in the highly anticipated, yet orderly events of my childhood Christmases there was a message about the Baby Jesus. And Wisemen. And Santa. The message was “believe.” But it’s hard when you get mixed messages. When I was five years old I accused my Mom of faking my Santa gift because I recognized her handwriting on the package. She offered some quick explanation, I’m sure but I didn’t buy it. For several years after, the agony of not knowing if this whole thing was “real” or not kept me awake every Christmas Eve as I struggled to believe. It wasn’t any easier to put my full faith in the Baby Jesus either. Sorry, Jesus.
The meaning of the holiday was supposed to illuminate itself through the careful execution of tradition, but I was always left confused, and a little disappointed. So as I got older, I developed my own traditions, and refined what Christmas is all about – to me anyway. After studying Ancient History, Mythology and Comparative Religion, I discovered that the Winter Holiday Celebrations (of the Northern Hemisphere anyway) were much older than Christianity itself.
I knew that through our observation of the holiday season we were making a psychological acknowledgment of the processes of nature and personifying it through myth and ritual – the Sun God is born symbolizing the return of the light. This realization challenged the foundations of my holiday and how I was going to observe it.
So I went through a phase of rebellion, as all young adults should, and decided that after going to Grandma’s for dinner, I would skip the small town church obligation (and risk going to hell). My new personal Xmas Eve ritual would be to watch the Pope at the Vatican on TV and sip eggnog – the creamier and boozier the better. Which was a fine compromise if you ask me. Then I would fall asleep watching The Nutcracker. I still do that, actually, and my eggnog recipe is off the charts.
But even more than that, I would try to figure out why I had such a compulsion to believe something. If not in the Baby Jesus or Santa, then in the goodness of humanity at least. Belief is the magic of the holiday season and without it, this would all be a very bleak, dark time of year. So before I lecture you on the origins of Christmas, let me just distill this solemn holiday into its most important components.
Adoration and Ritual – Express your belief in something bigger and bring your friends and family together in cultural celebration. This involves prayer and song, going to social gatherings or church, illuminating your world with glimmering candles and meaningful objects.
Abundance and Gratitude – Acknowledging what we have keeps the blessings flowing in our lives. You can offer thanks for these blessings through gift giving and sharing joy unconditionally. The more you do this, the easier it gets.
Food and Family – Bake your favorite cookies, cook the meals of your childhood and gather those you love to play games. Prove to mother nature that the dark and cold won’t stop you from celebrating!
Rest and Reflection – Take time to assess your life and be objective about your successes (and failures) in the past year. Sleep in. Wear fleece. Watch movies that make you laugh and cry at the same time.
Forgiveness and Fresh Start – Consider what things you will continue and what you will change in the New Year. Start one thing at a time and don’t go overboard. Forgive yourself for what you have or haven’t done.
I sat next to this Yule Log that my Grandma made every year as I opened gifts. And I still love it.
Now that my Grandmother has passed I know that the holiday celebration of my youth is up to me to keep alive in my home. Her decorations, recipes and belief in tradition will always be part of my Christmases as I grow older, but I’m very excited to weave in new customs too. Now as an adult, I believe in the Baby Jesus, Santa and so much more! It is much easier for me to see the magic without trying to de-bunk it and just relax into the abundance of it all.
So I encourage you to celebrate, stir up the nostalgia and look forward to the future. Whatever you do, make it your own so you can be happy. Then do what makes others happy. You will find that makes you happy too.
My new holiday ritual is one that I practice with my husband and the rest of the men in my family – we go skiing on Christmas day. We have a blast, then come home too tired to make dinner. Maybe someday my hubby and I will develop another tradition – New Year’s in Mexico. I’d love to trade snowtires for sunglasses.
